Saturday, July 03, 2010

It's been a long time since I made a new post. So many things happened, Graduation from Ngee Ann Polytechnic, finding a job in CPG Facilities Management, attending Asia Conference and lastly the struggle of applying into a degree programme that would pave my future career.. So far, I guess it was really the touch of God that really mould me into being more christ like.

Recently, I've been trying to quit smoking, which I failed miserably for over umpteen times. Incidentally, I got to hear the song "My life, My song" by CHC. One of the lyrics hit my heart with the phrase

"Let all earthly crowns, fade in the shadow of the cross"

As the song played on, I recollected lots of memories. How I decided to study hard when I was given a second chance to resume my poly. studies, the 1st time I successfully quit drinking, the 1st time I successfully root and commit to the Christ I've believed in all my life. And finally finally FINALLY! I can declare proudly that I've quit smoking, that I could continue to reach new heights as I grow closer to God.

All the above mentioned were all major turning points and resolves I've made during the past few years. Every single 1 of them, I could not emphasize how excruciatingly painful it was during the phases of change. Through it all, I have to admit there were more tears of sadness then of laughter, after all we are living a reality, and not through a drama script or a fantasy story. For me, I have learned that laughter and joy can never fully fill the void in me. It was really during the moments where I felt God being my only company while I undergo the storms of life, that I felt I've found true peace in the heart. Like how Jesus had a peace of heart during the storm at sea, I believe I got a mild taste of it... 

I'm human, I have flaws too, I would feel lonely when I see couples walked by, I too, would undeniably seek God to soothe that void. I would occassionally question God if he had set me to be a bachelor for life, lol.

I guess, it's a matter of walking with Him through the trials of life. To grow progressively and act accordingly through Christ. Really it is not about what I want anymore, but to let Father God know my needs, and obey fervently. I guess, this could be my resolve through the walk of life.

posted @ 7/03/2010 03:53:00 AM

+ + +