Wednesday, September 09, 2009

08/09

During the night, I realised I lost my wallet when I received a call from Joel, telling me someone called up Meihui/Meilin saying that they picked my wallet from the cab that I took home from school. Despite being flustered and worried upon receiving the news, I focus whatever energy left after an exhausting day and prayed in my sleep; telling myself that when things are out of control, just lift it up to Him while I'm doing my best in my studies.

Fact was that I didn't have my wallet, but kept reminding myself this too shall pass, and my faith shall not be shaken. The same goes for the uncertain future to come. IC, Old 11B, Driving License, ATM card, etc... Knowing I've lose umpteen times My IC during my silly teenage years, I didn't even dare to go think of how I'll replace my IC (Again)

09/09
Woke up early and was reasonably calm, and then I remembered what happened the day before and continued getting into shock (lol.) Rushed to school, hoping to get the call from the person whom picked my wallet. I was extremely fortunate that the person stayed near Clementi, and she said it's much more convenient for her to pass me the wallet in my school, then at the Clementi MRT. Well, it was too much of a coincident that she stayed at Clementi. Truely God met my needs in the storm.

Why did I say it's too much of a coincident? After I took cab home, anyone could have taken my wallet. or even worse, use my identifications illegally. And even if someone had my wallet and wanted to pass it to me; how many good Samaritans are there whom would try to pass it to you by hand? And a bigger blessing, where she stayed was near my school, meaning it's easier for both of us to meet so that she could pass me my wallet.

I continued walking to class thinking to myself how My Father have been putting me into tight situations to get me stretched pass my limitations. Ever since I got back to school, and keeping my life resolve to go back to God. It's been one testing after another. Mentally, physically, spiritually and especially emotionally. Everytime I felt broken, I'll cry out, break down, and get broken again. Gradually, I realised many a times he had poured grace upon me without realising it up till now. Grace and mercy might not necessarily come to a person before getting broken. For me, it happened after I made my own decision to go through brokeness by my own will. To lift up my diligence and descipline to him. That even if it isn't perfect, he can take this imperfection and mould it to something that could be useful to bring praise through me, to him.

In school, despite being a team member and not a leader after the different teams merged. I humbled myself to follow through and do my best. I'm now leading the main leader of the merged teams to make decisions, throwing ideas which could help us, and lastly co-operating with each other.

That said, this is life. A leader might not mean he is always leading a full crowd. A leader can be more then what the human eyes see. A leader can lead the leader, and still be called a leader.

Sometimes, we are all limiting ourselves in seeing things based on human definitions, regardless we're concious of it or not.

posted @ 9/09/2009 10:21:00 PM

+ + +